Obviously, times have changed. A wedding band isn’t as strong of a symbol as it once was, in general, but in the kink community a wedding band is all but meaningless as far as signaling someones ‘availability.’ You can’t assume that just because someone is married they don’t play with others.
GC and I went to Dark Odyssey Summer Camp last year and I wanted it known that I was taken, and not only taken but submissive. I didn’t want to wear a big leather collar because that’s just not our style and I had seen some discreet locking metal collars before, so I spent some time hunting them down. I found this collar made by Eternity Collars and immediately knew that was the one for me.
GC liked the idea of having something that signaled her ownership of me, even if she doesn’t necessarily identify as a dominant. So the collar went on and we both really liked it. It was just ‘normal’ enough to pass as a typical chain around vanillas but to anyone ‘in the know’ it was short enough to be obvious it was a collar and not just a necklace. Also, look a little closer and it can be seen that it doesn’t have a normal closure but is instead secured by a screw.
Granted, it’s not very secure since the screw uses just a standard hex key. But, it’s impossible to get off without undoing the clasp and so that’s really enough for us. I had assumed that once we were home from DO that GC would want me to take the collar off, but it was just the opposite. She said she wanted me to keep it on. And every time I’ve mentioned taking it off, she’s said she didn’t want me to take it off.
I can’t tell you how awesome that makes me feel. Maybe it’s not this grand overt display of dominance, but it’s just this little thing that she has “absolute” control over, and it’s her thing. I don’t particularly care for wearing the collar, for me, it was just a good idea at DO to help head off any confusion. But GC has decided that she likes owning me and she likes the very visible symbol of that. And thus, I am collared.