In the ‘diaper lover world,’ there are three main activities: wearing, wetting, and messing. Wearing means exactly that, just wearing a diaper. One might say, “I decided to wear today for the first time in a week.’ It’s not necessary to say ‘wear a diaper’ because simply saying ‘wear’ is understood to mean the same thing. ‘Wetting’ means peeing in the diaper and ‘messing’ means pooping, as you might have already guessed.
I don’t know what the percentages are, but the number of diaper lovers that mess every time they wear is very small, and the number that mess even once in a while is greater but still very small. The number that wet every time they wear is also small, but more than those that mess every time or mess sometimes. Then there are those that will occasionally wet, which is a fairly sizable portion of diaper lovers. Then there are those that wear, but never wet and never mess. I think most diaper lovers fall into the ‘occasionally wet but never mess’ category, which is the category I fall under.
I suppose the reason I don’t wet every time is that I pee very often, usually once every couple of hours or so when I am doing desk work. And I pee a lot. I’ve measured my max bladder capacity and it is just a smidge over 1.5 liters. It’s painful to wait that long, but that’s the max. The point at which I begin to feel like I need to pee is somewhere in the region of .6-.8 liters, and the point at which I begin to feel uncomfortable holding any longer is about 1.1 liters.
I know, I know. It’s pretty weird that I know that. But, several years ago I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me because I peed so often, so I decided to measure my bladder capacity. As you can tell, I do not have a capacity problem, I just drink a lot of fluids. I typically drink 1 liter of coffee in the morning, .5 liter of Coke around lunchtime, and 3.5-4.0 liters of water throughout the day, mostly in the afternoon and evening.
I would have to change my diaper about 5 times a day and that just gets expensive, so I usually don’t wet. And I never mess because, ew. If that’s your thing I’m not judging you, I can totally see and understand the appeal. But the thought of me smelling and the requisite clean-up just…yeah. Not into it. Right now, anyway. I never say never.
For diaper lovers, this is the most obvious of the motivations behind the fetish, the actual use of the diapers for their intended purpose. There are other factors, however, some easy to articulate and understand and some that defy being able to be put in words.
The visual factor is something that can appeal to DLs. Some just like the look of wearing a diaper and sometimes the fetish can be more specific, like the aesthetics of Pull Ups or the medical implication of a plain white plastic-backed tab-style brief. Then there are those that enjoy the childish themed printed diapers like Bambino Magnifico or Rearz Princess Pink which is where I fall on the spectrum.
There are the other sensual aspects, as well, that can come into play: touch, smell, and sound. Some DLs enjoy the thick padded feeling of a diaper and sometimes go as far as wearing multiple diapers and using stuffers to get that characteristic waddle. Which is adorable, I’ll admit, but not for me. The warm and squishy feeling of wetting or messing can sometimes play a big role. Some DLs will wet and stay in a wet diaper for hours to enjoy that sensation for as long as possible.
Personally, I’m transfixed with the smell of Pampers. The first time I bought ABDL-specific diapers I was so disappointed to learn that they didn’t come scented like baby diapers. I’m also all about the crinkle, baby. Give me crinkle or give me…um, I dunno, diaper rash? I love walking around the house wearing just a t-shirt and diaper and hearing the crinkle with each step.
Which brings me to the other, inarticulable aspects of the fetish. I cannot explain the emotional or psychological aspects. I can describe the whats but I cannot describe the whys. Why do I love the crinkle? Why is the ‘te-he’ factor so much higher with a Rearz Princess Pink than with an Abena M4?
Some DLs talk about how wearing brings a feeling of comfort and security. This is surely part of it, but for me it’s deeper. Wearing a diaper scratches some kind of sexual itch in a way that intercourse or orgasm just can’t. Some DLs say wearing is non-sexual for them because they don’t incorporate wearing into ‘sex.’ But there’s some relationship with ‘non-sexual’ fetishes and sex, somehow, for me. I also define ‘sex’ very broadly as anything that brings sexual pleasure whether or not genitals or sexual arousal and orgasm are involved, whereas most people mean ‘genital stimulation with the goal of orgasm of one or more parties’ when they say ‘sex.’
So here I sit, in a Rearz Safari diaper and a t-shirt, locked in a chastity device, completely relaxed and not at all sexually aroused in the traditional sense, but paradoxically feel sexual fulfillment. That’s why I’m a diaper fetishist.