I’ve known I liked wearing diapers for a very long time. When GC and I were dating I told her about my interest in diapers and she confessed to me that wearing diapers was her deepest, darkest, most secret fantasy and she was a little disappointed that the one thing she thought might be her ‘thing’ (once she got up the courage to tell me) was something I was already into.
I decided to back off with the diapers to give her room to explore her interest without feeling overshadowed by me. After all, I had plenty of other kinks I enjoyed. Over the years I have worn here and there, but never with GC knowing and I always felt a little ashamed even though I knew there was no reason to.
Finally, several months ago, I told GC that I had finally accepted the fetishist in me and explained to her that I had this deep burning desire to wear diapers more often. Not as a means of foreplay or in a sexual context, just wearing diapers doing everyday things. Wearing diapers is the one thing that still makes me feel extremely vulnerable and I asked her to help me by being supportive, or at least not discouraging me. She wholeheartedly agreed.
I told her that I did not want her to feel like she didn’t have ‘permission’ to wear diapers herself and she’s grown a lot in the last several years and said that it wouldn’t at all hinder her from exploring diapers on her own. She’s been very slow to explore that part of herself, to the point where it seems almost like it will never happen. I know it will eventually, but I got tired of waiting for her to get comfortable with herself as a diaper lover before I was able to.
So, I’ve been wearing diapers quite a lot lately. Not every day, but nearly. I have a fantasy of one day wearing 24/7 but given the nature of my job I don’t think that is really feasible. I’ve begun to wear when going out of the house and I have to say I’m still paranoid that someone will pick up on the crinkle and ‘discover’ me. The solution would be to wear the cloth-backed variety but my fetish specifically involves the plastic-backed diapers and the crinkliness especially. The more crinkles the better!
I wish I could explain exactly why and how diapers appeal to me, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. A lot of it is that wearing a diaper makes me feel cute and vulnerable. It’s a feeling that’s impossible for me to accurately describe so I just call it “the ‘te-he’ factor.”
Will this become a near constant part of my life, like being locked in chastity? I don’t know, maybe. I can feel myself being pulled into the diaper lover (or dl) world as opposed to feeling like I had an itch that has now been scratched so I think it’s a distinct possibility that this is just the beginning.